...and this is why we need your help.

Oy. 

Failing at Florida

Ok, ok. We kinda failed at Florida.

We did NOT go on any official dates here. The Internet replies were too sketchy (I can't even type them here without blushing), the Russian/Israeli duo fell through, and Danielle's prospect chose a charity ball over us (what an a hole...) 

This said, we went on unofficial dates with the oldest and youngest men in the Miami area. 

From our youngest date's (4-month-old) parents, we learned keys to a good relationship:

Dad: Communication. That's it.

Mom: A man who cooks.

Our date was a little fussy for a long term partnership - he seemed a little preoccupied with getting his own needs met. But he did have such a cute face...

From our oldest date, Stu, an octogenarian in Mom Mom Mitz's swimming pool, we learned that the three top qualities we should be looking for in a man/relationship were 1) love 2) a good job and 3) money.

When we asked Stu to differentiate between #s 2 and 3, he stared at us blankly.  

Stu also initiated the conversation by laughing at us lamenting our man situations. And then, because he's "a pretty outgoing guy" (his words) he settled to doing his leg exercises in the pool and schooling us on men. He said that men are "stupid. Just dumb!"  Adding, that we need to start dating older "late thirties to early forties". Every time we answered one of his clarifying questions about our lives there were a lot of enthusiastic "oh god!"'s that followed. 

Clearly a bad sign, but a great conversation. 

...Perhaps to be taken with a grain of salt as he couldn't remember his girlfriend's name. 

So, as we watched his tufts of gray shoulder hair sway in the wind he also told us it took him four years of online dating to find his nameless GF. Don't fret, "you're still young- you've got time."

From lots of other women at "the club" (wearing the finest in last year's resort wear) we heard that we would never meet anyone unless we were set up by others... Or went speed dating. They were all drunk. One lovely woman in a walker kept squawking "well, don't ask me!" Over the din. 

So please, please help us out, friends!

We will write more from Savannah tomorrow. 

Please cherish pic of stu and us laughing post swim-therapy date. 

Me lucky charms?

Addendum to previous post: 

There's now a rainbow overhead. 

Yep. 

First date?

Fado: Miami, FL

Called over a bobbing/weaving Irish drunkard. 

He started convo by telling us he was from Ireland. Ended convo by calling us "fucking bitches." 

This dating spree is starting off splendidly. 

OK Cupid Selfies

So... In making our joint OKCupid profile Hillary vetoed the following photo...adamantly. The ensuing ridiculousness is all her fault. 

Matching quiz: the photos represent thug life, duck face, hair flip, pouty babies, "normal", Helen Keller, and crazy cat lady. A Funtime game: which is which?  

B-b-b-boca

No, I ain't referring to your pie hole, I'm talking about Boca Raton Florida. 

It's humid. 

It's landscaped. 

It's Jewish. 

Hide your grandsons: we're in town!

But seriously. I can't begin to solve the mystery of why music comes out of the baggage carousel in the airport because we have more pressing matters; we need to find us some menfolk. 

Do you know anyone in Florida? Miami to Boca is perfect. Email us if you have a brother, cousin, attractive male college roommate, or straight hairdresser who lives down here. Tattoos and alligator wrestling experience are a plus. 

30dates30states@gmail.com !!

Off to eat bagels and lox with grandma (for serious). 

It Begins

It's starting. It's on. It's on like Donkey Kong. 


We, the fabulous-hot-single-professional-laughing-loving-partner-wanting-risk-taking, dynamic duo hereby resolve to pound the pavement in an effort to expand or horizons and meet some awesome individuals of the male persuasion. 

We've been in love. 

We've been out of love. 

We're legit looking for love. 

...and we've had a hard time of it as of late. So, since the universe hasn't yet brought our hearts desires to fruition (yet) we're going to extend our hands (and cleavage) in hopes of... something new. 

We're just two single girls roaming the country from Florida to Maine in search of men to make us laugh, make us love, and maybe - just maybe - make us move. We'll see. We're road tripping around the nation to broaden our horizons, renew our faith in serendipity, and have some quality moments with some quality men. 

About us:

Hill: A curly haired MOT with artistic talent up the wazoo. She was once in an a capella group, but don't hold it against her. She's a nouveau southern bell who understands the finer points of Philly cheese-steaks. 

Danielle: She's a creative mixed chick with terrible spelling and a teaching cerdential. She's 'thicker than a snicker' and into cooking and 49ers football.

Please email us if we should date you or someone you know!