DC Double-Double-Dating

As we roll into the Northeast, where we have lots of friends/people trying to hook us up with potential dates (read as: trying to win our new competition…), we are having to schedule more than one date a day. Exhausting, yet appreciated.

DC was our first encounter with this double-double-dating experience.

Date #1:

Our first date of the day was set up by Hillary’s childhood friend’s girlfriend’s friend’s cousin. Yup. We know you just read that twice. 

Danielle and Hillary received an email from the cousin stating, “Meet us at the International Spy Museum at 1 PM on Saturday.” Beyond that, we had nothing to go on, but if you’ve learned anything from this blog, you’ll know that we were clearly down for the adventure.

We met these two lovely chaps in the lobby of the Spy Museum and promptly learned that one of them refused to put any information about himself online (no Facebook account? Baffling!), and that the other worked for the Department of Defense and could not disclose anything about his job.

One was tall. One was short. Both were gentlemen. They took us out for fancy cocktails and were able to describe the latest in spy technology. Beyond that, we will not be disclosing any other information about the date. Apologies to our readers, but if we did, we’d have to kill you.

Date #2:

After a long 4 hours of drinking and spying, we were relatively spent. Um, remember, we turned 30 this year. We climbed into Hillary’s car at the over-priced DC parking garage and promptly took a 20-minute nap (which cost us an extra $4.) But we know there is no rest for the dating, so we quickly woke up, redid our make-up (wait, who are we kidding?, we’ve stopped wearing make-up) and braved the DC traffic for Date #2.

Now, to be honest, at first we thought that Date #2 was a guilt-induced, obligatory date. One of our friends (previously referred to as Chicago Fashionista/Super-competitive LawyerFace) had been exercising her competitive side and was setting us up left and right! She contacted a friend in DC who Hillary and Danielle had peripherally known in college, and promptly set up an afternoon date.

So, while we were way more thrilled with the idea of escaping to Hillary’s family’s house for a nap, we pushed on, and drove to the house of two roommates who promised us a chill, afternoon barbecue atmosphere.

We must pause here to announce a finding: When we have incredibly low expectations for dates, and are also incredibly exhausted, the dates tend to go better.

Within 15 minutes of our departure from the parking garage, we were seated in the clean, comfortable kitchen of two welcoming, charming, hilarious, smart, gainfully employed gentlemen, munching on fancy olives, sipping craft beer from glasses, and helping them strategize about where to hang new artwork.

We felt comfortable letting our hair down (OK, not really, it was hot in DC, and have you SEEN our hair?) and laughed more than we have on any other dates. One of the men grilled fresh vegetables and prepared gourmet Sriracha/blue-cheese burgers, while sous chef/date #2 asked thoughtful questions of us that showed he had been listening attentively since our arrival. We knew this mainly because he quickly (and correctly) categorized Hillary as a person who enjoys lying to/hiding from conservative religious figures (read as: Lubavitchers), and Danielle as a lover of obscure and precise descriptions (in describing a friend, he mentioned that he looks like “someone who used to fence.” Danielle loves that kind of shit.)

We were pleasantly shocked by how much fun we were having talking to these two nice Jewish boys (thank G-d Hillary’s mother isn’t reading this…also, reminder: NO ONE should be telling Hillary’s mom about this trip.) If we hadn’t already made late night plans with Hillary’s cousins, we would have totally hung out with them for dessert (grilled peaches? What? Amazing), karaoke, and the local dive bar.

Profound take-aways:

11.)  Always go on the date. (We reserve the right to rescind this thought later, though.)

22.)  Smart, funny guys are hot.

33.)  Low-key dates are sometimes the way to go.

44.)  Thoughtful questions and active listening are turn-ons.

55.)  Hypercompetitive Lawyer-Faced friends always know best.

Seriously. This random “guilt-ridden obligatory date” might actually be in the running for Best Date. We already told the dudes this. They high-fived. And we even liked that. Thanks for a great time, guys. You can print out this write-up and frame it on your Art Wall. (Or not.)