St. Louis

Here is our free form blog post about this city (we are blogging from the bar): 

http://youtu.be/C-X1b3B73A4

(Please read in slam poetry voice)

"What is this?; plain state; epidemic of resting bitch face; He's still wearing khaki shorts and tiny little diamond studs; so many sports injuries at this bar; are any girls wearing glasses here?; male duck face; fake window painted on garage door; fake piazza at Disney world version of New Orleans; bad version of bros and hoes; is this the person I had a crush on in high school?; never not younger; he stepped on my foot and didn't even turn around; I could get into a fight here; they would not love anything I love; he is the wrong version of himself; this is like a gussied up Mormon; I couldn't do this town; bright side: these people live HERE; Missouri? More like Misery."

Drop the mic and roll out.