NYC Date #1

First off, let it be known that we HATE New York. 

OK, wait. HILLARY hates New York. Danielle finds it amusing in a "whiny child sort of way."

Either way, we were not excited to leave the Jersey Boys and head into the Big Rotten Apple. (In fact, we left the Jersey boyz around 11:30 PM and didn't get to Brooklyn until 2 AM due to bridge construction/detours...This is supposed to be a 45-minute drive for you non-Northeastern-ers...clearly things were not starting off well.)

Still, the night after arriving, we convinced ourselves to put on our angry New York faces (and even a little make-up) and  headed out to meet our first New York dates--a set-up from a beloved Wesleyan friend-- at a hipster bar in Brooklyn (their choice, obvi.) 

Sparkly Eyes came to meet us first. He was warm, welcoming, and very interested in our dating journey, which he quickly shared by stating, "Wait, am I going to be on the blog? I hope we win Best Date! I saw the points." Oy, this was going to be a long night. 

Still, he was very easy to talk to, and we were enjoying his company when, minutes later, Racist Roomie arrived. Now, granted, Racist Roomie denied the fact that he was racist, but did NOT deny the fact that he was definitely a Republican. As Danielle spent time having a lovely conversation with Sparkly Eyes about religion, meditation, what makes a healthy relationship, and country living, Hillary gulped down beer and listened as RR commented on the far-too-conventional thinking of his outsourced marketing team in India, and made fun of Hillary and Danielle for going to a liberal arts college that would allow absurd majors such as "Women's Studies" and "Latin American Studies." 

While Hillary scrambled to think of non-divisive things to say to Racist Roomie, Racist Roomie stopped paying attention to the conversation all together. Instead, he took out his phone and began to text feverishly across the table. Now, this is one of Hillary's pet peeves, and she called it out humorously. RR promised that he was only texting his sister who was in town from out of state. After 15 minutes of straight texting, though, Hillary inwardly (and outwardly) began to question the kind of relationship RR had with his "sister." 

Sparkly Eyes kindly apologized for his rude, racist, Republican roommate, and continued to buy Danielle drinks until, lo and behold, RR's "sister," a sassy Asian lass (Racism apparently takes on many forms), walked into the bar to join us at our table.

Sassy Asian: "Hi! I hear you are doing a road trip and going on 30 dates in 30 states! That's so cool!"

Hillary: (stares dumbfounded)

Danielle: saves the day by extending her arm for a handshake and a "Nice to meet you." 

Danielle keeps it classy like that. Hillary was still in shock, and turned her back on RR and his fuck-buddy (relationship later confirmed by Sparkly Eyes.)

Before Hillary could inform Racist Roommate that she had finally figured out why he's still single, Sparkly Eyes gently guided Hillary and Danielle from the bar, glaring at his roommate in the process, and directed them to the taco shop across the street, where the new trio chowed down and discussed the ridiculousness of the situation. 

The three amigos then migrated to yet another bar down the block, which was showing the Shawshank Redemption (Sparkly Eyes' favorite movie.) We drunkenly discussed why Danielle's last relationship failed, harped on Hillary's debilitating neuroses, and tried desperately to convince the bartender--who kept reminding us he had a girlfriend--to be our stand-in second date--which he finally agreed to after we ordered a second round. 

The evening lasted far too long for the absurdity of the situation, but we really truly appreciated Sparkly Eye's devotion to our cause, and his intense efforts at becoming our Best Date in spite of an intense handicap brought on by his horrific dating companion. We left him with the promise of the good nickname on the blog, and Hillary really had to refrain from using Racist Roommate's real, full name in this post, and then calling his mother to let her know about his behavior. 

Captions:

1) Hill stealing a sip of RR's beer unbeknownst to him

2)Us with Sparkly Eyes at the end of the night (he's hotter in real life... And his eyes don't glow red)