Jersey Boyz

**For a full sensory experience read while listening to Deniece Williams's "Lets Hear it for the Boy"**

Have you ever had an experience that left you scratching your head in a bemused 'what just happened here?' kind of way?


US TOO!


If anything, we should, by this point, have total faith in our friends and companions who have proven time and again that they can set us up with wonderful and interesting people. Nevertheless, it's still a shock when a date that was beyond the confines of our imagination manages to delight us thoroughly:

Welcome to Jersey! (At this point, we obvi need to give a shout-out to J-wow, Snookie, and Pauly D)

An awesome ex of Hillary's is a native Jersey Boy who rapidly took up the task of finding us dates in the Garden State. In fact, this might've been the first official date that was set up at all (Thank you!!). Apparently, as told to us by one of our dates, he received a cryptic text that said, "Do you have a single guy friend and will you be around on the 22nd?"

Simple and brilliant, no?

And, like the sporting gentlemen they were, they went along with this vague amorphous plan. That's always a good sign.

They asked us to meet in Asbury Park, New Jersey at a hip tavern.

We hauled ass from Philly, but clearly didn't leave the time one might want to - oh, I don't know - groom? re-apply makeup? change outfits? No matter. We arrived in the seaside town, hoped they were tall (as we both wore our wedges), and muddled a few blocks in the rain while shielding our non-waterproof mascara-d eyes like jersey shore girls.

We hovered in the entry of the very ai- conditioned restaurant waiting for...two men. [One of the most fun parts of this trip is the truly 'blind' nature of it all in this age of Facebook and OKkillme. We consistently have NO idea who we're meeting.]

Sure enough, two large men (football player-ish) walked in... but then promptly walked by us. We continued to loiter in curiosity as the two dudes clad in casual shorts and damp normal non-fancy T-shirts came back around and introduced themselves. There was some formal and stiff hand shaking and name blurting.

The place was very crowded and we were told we'd need to wait half an hour to get a table - which would've been fine if we hadn't just awkwardly exclaimed that we were ravenous. (Classy right?) In an effort to cover this awkwardness, Danielle suggested we get a beer while waiting for a table.

We felt strange and doubted the wisdom of our matchmaker. We began bracing for a night of tepid polite conversation... but then - in an epic display of social adeptness and insight - one of our dates began to talk about how he studied music made from cosmic astrological supernovas (we think?)... and we knew that things were gonna be OK.


Hillary even said aloud, "Yes! OK! This date is gonna be great - I'm an expressive arts therapist and Danielle loves astrology!"


Crystal Shaman was a white guy - our age - dressed in all black with an earthy tree shirt on. Long blonde hair in a ponytail. Handsome facial hair and strong eye contact. Studied shamanism and had crystals on hand. Vegetarian. Legit was open to full-moon ceremonies in a way that was genuinely intriguing. Web genius.


Erudite Guido was a white guy - our age - dressed in an upscale creative-ish batman riff T-shirt and cargo shorts. Handsome facial hair. Hilarious storyteller. Teacher with poor spelling. Knew his cross-cultural mythology and could correlate it to modern day comics. Thoughtful Italian-American dude.

The guys ordered beet salad, grilled fish, and broccoli all round. Hillary ordered thanksgiving dinner and Danielle had a pub burger and fries.

Imagine the following conversational excerpts taking place with Hillary, Danielle, Crystal Shaman, and Erudite Guido. Over the course of a totally AWESOME 4 hour date we discussed the following:

-ghost encounters
-road trips
-things we learned from our parents
-music
-art
-superhero powers we wish we had
-teaching
-therapy
-shamanism
-blue waffles
-the satisfying sound a golf ball makes when it sinks into a hole
-'that's what she said' jokes
-drugs
-our best and worst dates
-our most embarrassing moments
-past relationships
-our favorite movies
-whether or not it's OK for guys to keep their socks on during sex


This date was incredibly positive. We felt very comfortable. We talked and listened equally. There seemed to be a shared value to our time together. It was never particularly clear who liked whom -but on our end, it didn't matter at all, because we both liked them both!

Insights about the date:
One thing we've discussed at length with each other is how we wouldn't stumble on any of these people if we were searching for matches on OKcupid, or even eyeing chaps in our local bars or coffee shops - they'd be too tall or short or skinny or fat or whatever. But, in this format where you randomly meet someone and just have to roll with it, our minds are often blown... like they were in Asbury Park, on a double-date with these two amazingly beautiful individuals.

Selective Verbatim Reflections on the Date as we Drove to NYC:

"They were so interesting... Who are you people?!"

"I'm even down with his appropriation of shamanistic culture."

"Wow. At the beginning of the night I was like 'no', but by the end I was like 'I like both of you guys and would have sex with either of you and it would probably be good.' "